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Overcoming setbacks like Tyson and Neitzche | #42

How amor fati teaches you to deal with setbacks

Overcoming obstacles like Tyson and Neitzche

No. 42 — read time 3 minutes

Welcome to The Soloist, a weekly newsletter for creative minds exploring the world of business.

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Today at a glance

  • When life punches you in the face

Everybody's got a f*cking plan until they get hit in the f*cking mouth.

Mike Tyson

Last Saturday, I pushed send on this year’s first newsletter and headed with my wife and daughter to my wife's fancy gym. I say fancy gym because it's one of those bougie type gyms that has the nice kind of lockers with pre-built-in locks, fresh white towels, a spa, and a general lack of cockaroaches. The gym I normally go to is the opposite.

I was feeling good.

2024 was off to a good start.

I was waking up early every day to swim, run, or lift. I was getting a lot of writing done. And in general spirits were high.

Then my wife started feeling sick. She decides to take a rapid test.

COVID.

F*ck.

Within a day my daughter and I both get infected.

The symptoms weren't bad. I've had worse colds in the past year. But as you all know by now, COVID has its own set of norms at this point and that meant our toddler was staying home all week from pre-school.

Having to take care of a little child all day with no breaks save for the brief nap she still demands combined with the general yucky feeling that comes with being sick meant everything got thrown off.

Wake times. Exercise. Writing. It all went sideways.

When I was younger and less disciplined, this curveball probably would have been enough to throw me off my routine and goals for a good bit.

But one of the things I'm more aware of as I've gotten older is how to spot these potential train wrecks before they happen and to appreciate them for what they are.

There is no use in over dramatizing what happens in our life especially when things could be actually much worse.

The secret is to only focus on what we can control. Anything outside of ought to be totally devoid of our attention.

There is a phrase in Latin Amor Fati—love of one’s fate. It comes from Epictetus but was also a big part of Neitzche’s writing.

The idea that what happens in life is meant to happen and so doing anything other than fully accepting it is the cause of our internal unhappiness.

Given that I've committed to myself that I would still write and post something online every day, I went ahead and did so knowing it wouldn't be my best work. But I hit send.

I couldn't work out nor did I feel like dieting while sick would be a smart idea, but I could keep track of my calories like I'd already been doing.

And I could realize there was another hidden benefit of the Harari household falling ill to COVID. We all got to spend time together with none of the usual schedule-based pressures that a "normal" week entails.

We went for hikes.

We baked.

We played dress up in the middle of the day.

We simply enjoyed each others' company.

Was this an easy week? No. Was it a chance to take a shit situation that life threw at us and say "f*ck you" right back to the world. Yes.

Life often doesn't work out how we want. How you handle that and deal with that will tell you everything you need to know about yourself.

Do you crumble when life punches you in the mouth?

Do you give up on your goals and dreams?

Do you revert back to your old habits?

I made this point in last week's newsletter that New Years Resolutions and to a larger extent the whole "goals and habits" shelf-help industry often skips over a critical element of the human condition—the power of the mind and the subsconscious.

Deep down inside we all know who we are.

We're either content with that person or in conflict with him/her.

Neither is good or bad. It's all a matter of what we choose to do about that conflict (if there is one).

The same is true in business, relationships, and life.

Know who you are at a deep level and decide how you will react when life punches you in the mouth.

Till next week,

Tom

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